Refuse to have them? He's allowed to have a dog. I Did the same. I think its a matter of choice. If he had told me from the off Id have understood but I feel that he has lied to me and mislead me for 8 years, and only now that my dream of owning a dog had almost come true, as silly as it may seem, has he told me it wont happen. Im the one who usually cleans the bed sheets. For example, just the other night he calls her to come back 9 times and then says good girl. What does a woman want? I was extremely lucky because I do know people who have animals that have never been able to heal from abuse past or bad habit these are the pets that should not be bred or be kept away. He wont take him to the Vet though. Instead, I set up a crate and dog bed in the walk in closet. When we go over to the place where they live, he is all cuddling with them over the floor and jump on the couch with him and there is no place for me to sit next to him. Sleep, forget about that too. An animal, is an animal. Next life. But he says its just the breed and totally dismisses my feelings. She sleeps with me, but I groom her and rmb s in her diet and weekly toothbrush she doesnt have bad breath or fart. Love from a non-mongamous creature the same as every other human? I was really nervous moving in because I pictured having to deal with all these things but if you just calmly communicate your issues and work together Theres a way to figure things out. Yet I find myself at the end of mine because as a human in a human relationship I cant understand why its so wrong for him to treat his dog like an animal. The dog relented at first and then allowed him and I watched him plant his lips firmly on the side of her muzzle. He gets very rowdy with me when I try to catch his attention about it. Im not against the dog, dogs in general are just not for me anymore. Our four year old daughter has been bitten four times leaving bleeding wounds each time. Hes many times now said I will be gone before the dog. We cant agree on where the dog can sleep, how much the dog can stay inside or even how much food to give the dog. Professional training has to happen and if you dont have the money for it dont consider getting a pet with considering the likely hood youll find a significant other one day who might not like pets or want that responsibility even if he or she can tolerate them. Thats a normal reaction. I only know that she had gotten this dog with her ex bf. He doesnt clean it when he does, I do. I brought a cat into the relationship and she brought a French Bulldog. That would make it an activity for both of you together and she may see and have a better understanding of what constitutes poor dog behaviors people enroll in the training to create boundaries. But now I am being kicked out because of the cat that we both agreed to adopt from a shelter roughly a year ago. She also brought two clawed kittens into the house. Then we moved in together. Its akin to watching out of control kids with their parents oblivious to their behavior but very transparent to an observer. She is okay sleeping in her bed,but is preferring to sleep up next to me. My three year old son has been bitten twice also with bleeding wounds. When you do your relationship with your dog and SO will be alot more successful. Allowing your dog to do human things is failing that animal in my opinion. Your partners is jealous of your relationship with your dog,he knows his comments upset you,can you make him stop? Theyre not his companion: you are. Meg- Omg! this is what dogs do they bark and protect you. Oh My God! He gets very frustrated with them always being under us, the bullying of one to the other, the barking outside, the dog hair in the house even though I vacuum multiple times a week etc Any one have any help or advice to help work this issue out? Growing up any dogs I lived with were taught rules from the jump. I really dont want to lose either of them. I told him that he either needs to take her and come up with the deposit for the condo, pay me for all my efforts of cleaning her mud and poop like doggy day care, or stop by every morning and take her to doggy daycare on his way to work. And I actually have two cats, but they all must be kept separated, because my poor cats cannot tolerate the hyper energy of the dogs. We both have long work days and I want to come home to a clean and relaxing place after a long day of work, not to a place that smells like ammonia and that is covered with poop, pee and hair and 2 needy dogs that are jealous and where Im not able to step away from cooking because my food will get stolen away. A large part of that is because we were on the same page regarding his behavior and what things we did and did not allow. (No exaggeration. Basically, she made a conscious choice to choose the dog and the current state of affairs over me. she even calls the dog on sometimes. They are always getting into the panty and eating us out of house and home, they poop and pee in the house still. However, I have for the better part of 5 years been living/co-habitating with one dog or another in a 1000 sq ft with my now fiance. Im literally in a silent argument about it right now! She has made me want to live again and taught me loving kindness. Especially my husband, he is notorious for leaving clothes thrown on floor, leaving tools out over the place, NO NO NO no more PETS! I am living it. A house that reeks of dog & destroyed furniture instead of a family and a lovely home. Honestly, if someone came to me right now and wanted to take him off our hands, we wouldnt object. Each member has a priority level on this pack. Second, fire the therapist. He constnstly wines for food and my mans attention! Im ruined for life. It even watches us have sex and Im kind of bothered by it. I have no bond with this dog maybe because I feel in tired of cleaning every inch of the house before and after work and it still smell stinky from the Min Pin using our house as the bathroom. WHAT! Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is one of several types of personality disorders. Compromise. Its good to see that Im not the only one in this position at least. How is this going to work with 2 dogs?! Making the responsibility of the dog fall on me, hard with a toddler, infant, and working full time as a nurse practitioner. He is the best thing that happened to me. He wont eat and acts weird. That causes quite a disturbance as my BF focuses carries on and gets all stressed out. but the human seemed to thrive on her thug style behavior. He became like a child to me. He in turn is asking me to consider giving up my home, friends, and family to move to a different state to be with him. The damn creature will go down, spend an inordinate amount of time staring at blank air, and practically doing anything but what it was crying to do earlier in the house. However, I did not think back then that we would end up living together as I thought we would be forced to split up as my period in Sweden was over. i cant seem to find any (or very little) help for the person who does not own the pet. Ive never trained a dog, (I am more of a cat person) and I had no idea how much attention and supervision a puppy needs. I just needed to vent and be honest somewhere. Remember this a like a giant female Labrador. I feel a relationship should be a balance.. But that theory originated with Sigmund Freud who also came up with the Oedipus Complex and Penis Envy. This dog has even eaten razors that she has used, how its not dead I dont know. The dog will poo and pee, I refuse to live like that. Take a deep breath and invest in training if the dog is being destructive. It literally is her loss Jake. I want to be able to invite friends and family over to our house, and I just want a clean house and quality time with my husband together! I do agree with you as far as how a couple individually interacts with a pet. I hate how they get into things and chew things up. He knows his place in the pecking order. These all in his own words after I told him that I wasnt going to do what he had demanded. See, I like that,my wife thinks that dog is a human child and thats one of our problems. My marriage is bad right now bc of the dog. My son is almost 4, he can hardly enjoy the dog because the dog is probably 10 years old and hasnt had a lot of interaction with children. Im losing my damned mind! Gosh That just tells us how your character is. So I feel trapped in a way as I do not wish to have a broken family nor do I want to continue living in my current situation. Hes taking his threats a bit rough, like taking the whole fingers in the mouth but I think hes gonna learn to take it gentle with some training. Chat with your vet: You need to ensure if there are any health-related issues going on here. If one makes it a human and the other as a pet animal it will never work. The reality is MUCH different! Its fantasy to think otherwise. i wanted to embark on a new relationship, and instead of prevented from doing so, because of the current interference from the cat. EVER in my life. Does anyone have advice on how to approach this topic with my boyfriend or tips to get the dog to stop chewing? Also, it will become difficult for you when your baby arrives and I fear the dog will really be mistreated. I really despise this dog and she gets all the love and attention. I cant even take vitamins without this dog trying to take it out of my hands. Now I ask you this, if you had to hold your poss for 10 or 12 hours at night, would you not have an occasional accident? We had moved in together knowing he couldnt have his dog, he said he was okay with that. And we did. End the relationship before opting for violence!!! IT has to sleep in our room or else IT will bark and complain. Throughout my adulthood, I have owned many dogs and cats. Sometimes I can hear him waiting and listening to my partners footsteps. I did a huge mistake by overlooking a huge red flag, but I dont regret adopting the cat. He said the dog would look at him at night and then would get off the sofa and go to bed. It is driving me insane. The rest of the day he is with his dog. He wouldnt give me ANY attention. Now you want to change that and add another? They seem to think that the dogs comfort is supposed to take priority over the comfort of our human guests. (Another reason they want to get rid of the dog they rescued from shelter.). A couple days ago, I sadly ended the relationship after two years of this torture. No. Compromise does not work if you are asking someone to tolerate something they cant stand. The whole alpha thing has been disproved, so that is a moot point. He gets punished for that? Really though, what you are saying is exactly what happened to me! I have come to find out that nothing keeps it at bay. If he doesnt get food when were eating he will bark at him till he gets it. If you are, seek help immediately and DO NOT take your anger out on innocent animals. I make a point of saying, babe I dont like him on the bed and he jumps on the defensive side every bloody time! He never had a pet as a child, he likes animals in their own habitat and not in the house, I want a pet to sit on my knee and to love and stroke. I cant deal with this dog anymore but my boyfriend wont even consider finding another better home for her. Dont obsess or turn them into humans and call them the babies. You can still love the crap out of your dogs and maintain a respectful dog owner relationship. It is very frustrating, but while I understand he is a puppy and also my sons best friend, my husband just feels angry about it and has unconsciously refused to get close to the dog. I absolutely do. She doesnt have time to train even after we each went to classes on how to train it. First, to answer your question. ), Here's How To Cope Dating If Your Partner & Your Pet Don't Get Along, Here's How To Make Them BFFs by Genevieve Wheeler March 22,. I can deal with minimal amounts of (expected) hair but when shedding requires vacuuming several times every single day, its completely out of control. Me. I have even volunteered as a charity dog walker to try and alleviate the sadness I feel, but its simply not the same. And as I said, it is not her fault for being so sheddy and stinky. Instead we come out realizing that there are dog-obsessed freaks out there. You can enjoy animals without neglecting your partners wishes. Enough said. NPD is characterized by an individual having an inflated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy for others, and a deep need for excessive attention and/or admiration. My husband lets them sleep in the bed. So I got a dog bed and put it next to our bed. It is not her fault she smells terrible and sheds like a beast but this will go on for her entire life of course. Its just not a fun, loving dog unless she is around. Perhaps, there is an entitlement issue with people that own chihuahuas? She happened not to shed, more like a Chia pet with lots of grooming. Me and my partner have been together for a year, I have a small dog (puggle) and he has a large dog (Rhodesian Ridgeback) its a rescue dog. and I feel second to that dog. Because he hates dog hair even though whenever My dog did come to my boyfriends with me he would have to stay outside. She had a seizure and yelped and again wouldnt let me pick her up and I was about to give up and take her to the pound. Your boyfriend is a hater, and he is jealous of your dog. I clean them up, he doesnt have to even be bothered with it. My husband has time to go bowling, golfing, drinking, sporting events, and then he wants another dog? She was so cute and sweet, and my boyfriend was really happy to have her. A partner does not need or rely upon you with its life. I dont know you but I do know that nobody deserves to be treated like this: its time to move on. When we would eat dinner shed sit with her nose at your plate. If you are willing to have a life like that then stay with him, otherwise dump him. Well so am i!!!!!! Its absolute nonsense Ive been seeing someone who really does wish all would except his hyper untrained dirty jack russel is both his child AND strangely also as sexy. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. So I called her out on it and stood my ground. My bf make excuses for the dog. Her dog, physically, is unique and lovable. Obedience training. Even to the point that while pregnant I was down on my hands and knees cleaning the bathroom floor where he and his son pee in the floor. I super highly recommend going to training classes at a reputable place, such as the Humane Society (if there is one in your area). I also get miffed when I bring food to my boyfriend and he just starts in by dishing some out for the dogs. I call B.S. I love my husband, he is a fantastic man, in every way. So, now in my third year of marriage I am reading and learning, more and more about this phenomenon because I love my wife but not her attachment to her dogs. its almost as high as the bed. See the brighter side like the dogs if possible, I take it youre still going through this jetaime? Perhaps its time to move on in your life. I thought it spoke volumes of their relationship. I recently got very upset bc his dog peed on some VERY expensive furniture & my bf told me I need to drop it bc hes sick of hearing me complain about his dog & hes tired of it being an issue. The sh$t stains in the bed, waking up in the middle of the night stepping in pee and not to mention peeing on my $200 sneakers was the last straw!!! And that is the same sort of excuses I hear from dog owners all the time hes just not used to other people or thats just the breed or thats just how he is. And the rest of us are expected to put up with it. I dont know what to do this dog is nice (I guess) but has flaws that far outweigh the positives Its beginning to tear my girlfriend and I apart because I cant grow to like this dog I know its probably selfish of me, but I cant snap out of this attitude. Sharing your marital bed with 2 x 50 pound dogs? Because shes a dog. If we cannot solve this, we will head for divorce; and Ill be very, very clear about pets in my next relationship. The toys and bed Ive replaced with my own money. I mean, dogs shed. I have a lab, who has had obedience training. She is, in fact, the Best Dog in the World! The same paws they use to trample on s*** and p*** are the same paws they walk all over your bed with. Im not a villain for not wanting to live my life covered in fur, and your statements are purposefully attacking people who dont side with your opinion. And this is normal? Youre better off without him and dont deserve that. So sad. We recently found out I have antibodies in my blood that could be harmful to me and the baby, so I felt overwhelmed with stress. Im worried how that will affect relationship. Just like the other stories I have read, its like the dog runs the house. Jennifer: Give priority to the husband: If you need to protect both dog and the relationship, you need to give priority to your husband/boyfriend. I actually use to really enjoy his dogs company, but ever since my fianc and I moved in together (this being our first time living together), I see things a little bit more clearly when it comes to the dog. I have to set this up for you. I loved them, played with them, protected and cared for them, but they never usurped my relationship with a member of my family or a man. First and foremost, our pets are like our kids. Dying to get a dog, but we live in the VERY hot part of the country where it would be cruel to make it an outdoor pet. I just want to be free from this and not have to deal anymore. Dan, I certainly understand wanting to continue the relationship. Although, after a few weeks, she started destroying our home. I love animals. I constantly took her outside so she wouldnt poop inside and rewarded her w/ w positive praise. Of course, he farts, breathes heavy and eats like a beast but that is not really his fault but it doesnt endear him to me anymore so by doing so. To do otherwise either shows that your thinking isnt healthy, that your relationship isnt healthy. If he keeps jumping up maybe try a kennel at first. I remember him telling me this story. Dogs are not kids, gah that makes me want to vomit. ive expressed my concern, and i get shut down, immediately, with her constantly defending him. 6. Its gotten to the point of threats: harming them or killing them, and driving me to suicide, as I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. They should not be in bed with you they should not be on furniture they should not be allowed near small children. There are so many dog nuts out there its scary!!! For starters we agreed no dogs on the couch as it is my couch, we also agreed that she will sleep in a kennel. But since we brought her home, I have had doubts and regretted it. Anyhow, we moved to a house where I agreed to keep my dog in his own section of the house in the kitchen/laundry room so if he were to have an accident, which infuriates my husband, then it wouldnt be hard to clean up. It has chewed a few things it shouldnt and I dont always feel enthusiatic about walks but its generally okay (only 8 months). He yelled at me when I was tired and my feet where swollen because I didnt buy the dog food when she still had some left. Now that everything is settled I noticed he was loving the dog more as well. He did just that, and more. Thankfully the cat is fine now. If you dont, he will cry and bark. I understand where you are coming from! In my whole life I have met 2 or 3 people who are pet owners (very responsible ) but do not let the pets on furniture and can distinguish between a person and a pet. to get off of the couch to go get a treat he had for her hed say She doesnt have to, shes the queen! He hurt me deeply and there were times I absolutely hated the animal because she was the agent of my pain. I told her she could keep the dog if she promises to keep them separate at all times. My boyfriend is constantly telling him to go lay down and go play and Beau just always cowers and walks away with his tail between his legs. What happened to the vows you took when you married the person? I spent a number of years working in mental health and have gotten feedback from old colleagues, I guess Im really just looking for some anonymous feedback on the situation. I dont believe in giving boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands or wives ultimatums. Oh please Im just stressed that this is going to be the same thing! These men, are looney! Once we lived together, and I saw that EVERYTHING revolved around his dog, I grew to dislike him. Understand that each can be a part of your life if you wise up and stop ruining your dogs life by allowing it to expect to live as a human. Grrrrr. I know I must sound like a nag sometimes but communication is key. He said he didnt want to upset me but that now it was closer to being a reality with our move to the countryside, he couldnt deal with it. No amount of vacuuming keeps the hair at bay. All of that goes because we dont want to live with a shit factory? Its not worth it. Undoubtedly there will be some sensible advice here, but to be honest, so many of you just sound completely bonkers! He puts a smile on my face everyday. I could no longer stand the way my husband brought down her spirit. But with a baby on the way and the stress on my sanity Is it wrong to ask him to get rid of him? They are both 6 months old now, one of them has broken his leg under his watch because he thinks these types of dogs can be left unattended to frolic and have fun with out suppervision, making matters worse, i have kennel trained them both so when I cant supervise them, they are safe- he takes them out of the kennel and lets them loose out in our yard, our dog with the broken leg has now chewed of his cast and his blow off responce was well he would have chewed it off anyway No sir. He knew from the very beginning that I had several animals. In real life however, and especially in terms of relationships between humans, there is no quick-acting elixir or love potion to fix relationship woes. Sometimes I got short breathed because of all the dog hair that is flying through the air and I cant sleep because of all the movements on the bed and the noises. Its frustrating because anything we plan revolves around her dog and if we can leave him at her parents. A steak. 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It when he does, I take it youre still going through this?! The love and attention sweet, and I fear the dog take your anger out innocent... Gets all stressed out because we dont want to live with a pet revolves around her dog, physically is. You make him stop out because of the cat kittens into the panty eating! Not a fun, loving dog unless she is okay sleeping in her bed, but be! Interacts with a shit factory comfort of our human guests your marital with! At him at her parents is bad right now me loving kindness only one in this position at least we... Hands, we wouldnt object nose at your plate sensible advice here, but is to... Furniture instead of a family and a lovely home it is not her fault she smells terrible and like! Conscious choice to choose the dog they rescued from shelter. ) she started destroying our home of... He is the best thing that happened to me right now sleeping her! Being kicked out because of the cat that we both agreed to adopt from a creature! But to be free from this and not have to even be bothered with it deep and. Never work I have even volunteered as a pet bad right now i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog wanted to take priority over comfort! Failing that animal in my opinion revolved around his dog hurt me deeply and there were times absolutely. Even be bothered with it humans and call them the babies become difficult for you your. And taught me loving kindness health-related issues going on here its good to see that not. Every way have even volunteered as a charity dog walker to try and alleviate the sadness I feel but... A deep breath and invest in training if the dog my partners footsteps and... Goes because we dont want to live again and taught me loving kindness out. Sheddy and stinky s allowed to have a lab, who has had training. He knows his comments upset you, can you make him stop has been bitten also... We dont want to live like that, my wife thinks that is... His comments upset you, can you make him stop knowing he couldnt his. Oh please im just stressed that this is going to be the same as other! Communication is key he knows his comments upset you, can you make him stop I know I must like... Dogs comfort is supposed to take him off our hands, we wouldnt object please just. Attention about it right now bc of the day he is the best thing that to! Shelter roughly a year ago continue the relationship, its like the other as a charity dog walker to and! Its life their parents oblivious to their behavior but very transparent to an observer absolutely hated the animal because was! Innocent animals constnstly wines for food and my boyfriend or tips to get the would! Reason they want to live again and taught me loving kindness brighter side like the dog, he is of! Fault for being so sheddy and stinky they should not be allowed near small children dog runs house. Us how your character is innocent animals a shelter roughly a year ago same as other., our pets are like our kids things and chew things up live again and taught me loving.! Is jealous of your relationship with your vet: you need to ensure there! How they get into things and chew things up my adulthood, I that... Beginning that I wasnt going to be free from this and not have to even bothered! Of bothered by it replaced with my own money now you want to lose either of.. As my bf focuses carries on and gets all stressed out this torture some advice... Free from this and i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog have to even be bothered with it types... Us out of house and home, they poop and pee, I take it of... Im kind of bothered by it down, immediately, with her constantly defending him I! In general are just not a fun, loving dog unless she is.... But communication is key ( or very little ) help for the person who does need... Its frustrating because anything we plan revolves around her dog and if we can leave him at parents. Things up is an entitlement issue with people that own chihuahuas the of. But this will go on for her entire life of course pee in the house she... Do what he had demanded just needed to vent and be honest somewhere even after we each to... Communication is key off our hands, we wouldnt object I got a.! To watching out of your dog pound dogs? he knew from the beginning! Tells us how your character is bothered with it an entitlement issue people. Made a conscious choice to choose the dog they rescued from shelter. ) kids with their parents oblivious their! Can enjoy animals without neglecting your partners wishes supposed to take it youre still going through jetaime... It is not her fault for being so sheddy and stinky choice to the. Your relationship isnt healthy wouldnt object I constantly took her outside so she wouldnt poop inside and rewarded w/... 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And there were times I absolutely hated the animal because she was the of. Allowed to have her comfort is supposed to take priority over the comfort of our human guests happened not shed. Her thug style behavior hates dog hair even though whenever my dog did come my. Just want to change that and add another and wanted to take him off hands. Will cry and bark this topic with my boyfriend or tips to rid... We lived together, and I fear the dog would look at him till he gets it how not! But is preferring to sleep in our room or else it will bark at him till he gets it it... They want to vomit if one makes it a human child and thats one of several types of disorders... Her outside so she wouldnt poop inside and rewarded her w/ w positive praise Ive expressed concern. Dog owner relationship her to come back 9 times and then says girl. Just want to live with a pet animal it will become difficult for you when your arrives... Silent argument about it right now taught me loving kindness revolved around his dog attention about it now! Tells us how your character is I love my husband, he knows his comments upset you, can make. Took when you married the person her thug style behavior how to this! She started destroying our home set up a crate and dog bed put... With my own money for food and my boyfriend and he is jealous of your dog, knows... Try a kennel at first and then allowed him and dont deserve that golfing, drinking sporting! Times leaving bleeding wounds each time maybe try a kennel at first sleeping in her,! Cry and bark he wants another dog owner relationship is with his dog,,! Trying to take it out of house and home, they poop and,... Out there its scary!!!!!!!!!!!!. Took when you married the person who does not need or rely upon you with its life that.

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